"Tragedy+Time=Humor"

                      Robyn's Visit to LeForte Hospital ER

Alright, remember the Brazilian wedding band Christmas gift?   When I received it was 2 sizes too large.  Raquel, Craig's office assistant took me downtown to have it sized a few weeks ago.  They said it would be better to re-order the correct size.  So on Sat. Jan. 24, Craig and I went back to pick it up.  I put it on and it was a little tight going over my knuckle but I liked how it felt after that, deciding I didn't need to remove it very often.  I happily wore it for five days.  

Thursday morning I woke up at 5:00 am for bladder relief.  Heading back to bed, I went to close the bathroom door part way because there is a night light in there that shines in my husband's eyes, even with them shut.  In my half/sleep stagger I shut my ring finger in the door.  Not hard.  Didn't even hurt.  I was still sleeping.   

Attempting to return to dreamland, I irrationally think "my finger might swell to the point of    circulation restriction due to the ring".  So I'm going to elevate it while sleeping.  Not.  

By this time it is 5:30.  I get up and decide to remove the ring.  With soap ?  No.  Okay.  Don't be alarmed.  No need to wake everyone up.  Ask google for "methods".  Windex?  Really?  Sorry, didn't work.   There is a very interesting video by a doctor using a piece of elastic tape from a doctor mask.  "Works every time".   I didn't have one of those.  But I did have an elastic strip in my sewing kit so I thought I'd give it a try.  It wasn't long enough to be effective.  Then I saw another similar method using dental floss.  So I tried that and it would have been easier if I had some help but you know, I don't want to bother anyone.   

After about 3 attempts, I was increasing the swelling, the floss was digging into my skin so I woke up my husband.  6:00 am now.  He's going to the gym.  Dr. Swensen is usually there, Craig will talk to him.  He is the area missionary doctor (or more accurately, medical advisor) and our neighbor.  Still plenty of circulation so no panicking needed. 

I fix myself something to eat and Dr. Swensen shows up.  He's heard of the elastic band approach but has never done it.  Surprising!  He is actually an orthopedic hand guy.

He's curious, so he wants to try my too-short strip of elastic.  No luck.  And he does not have a mask - What? Why not?  Of course he doesn't really "practice" here.  Only on pathetic senior missionaries...  He is not licensed.  However, he is FULL of advice.  

"So - let's get dressed and walk over to the ER, they can snip off the ring, you can take it to the jewelers, have it repaired and end of story."  "That way you don't need to worry about it all day to see if/when the swelling will go down."  I agree because I don't want to spend my day with my hand in an ice bag above my head.

We get ready and send Randy out the door to do his thing.  An hour later, Elder and Sister Hall, and Elder/Dr. Swensen are off, walking to the hospital.  We could have probably done it without Elder Swensen, he has plenty of work to do.  But no, he wouldn't miss it.  Curious about the "process" at this hospital.

It's still early so not too crowded.  Numerous check-in procedures.  They want to know what happened of course.  I don't have to say a thing because I have my two, very capable Portuguese speakers attending me.  Which is all fine except they are starting to think this is all laughable.  The hospital wants my blood pressure, my height and weight, my medication list and allergies.  They put a name band on my wrist.  They type up unknown number of forms.  My guys are asking me about my height/weight and I know how to say Portuguese numbers but first you have to "convert" to metric.  So never mind.  Let them guess.

Next we are with the Brazilian doctor.  First she tries a similar method with a lubricant and gauze tape.  Everyone is watching you-tube these days.  After fail #? she gets out her "tool", which is about the size of garden shears, and cuts the ring.  Ok - thank you, can I leave now?  no   

"We need to take an x-ray."  Seriously?  Whatever, just hurry up.  "Now go back upstairs so we can look at the pictures on the monitor."  No internal injury.  really

Now the doctor has some long speech about I don't know what and Craig and Laird are just trying to be polite and not laugh.  While and after she is talking she gets all these supplies out to splint the finger.  Please no.  Well my "advisors" are just asking me to go along and I can remove the dressing at home.  Fine.  

                                                                    So, first the splint.  

                                                                  Then the bandage.

Then the big finish-

the sling

unbelievable

A serious case of "over kill".

The photo at the top of the story is 

how my finger looked after cutting the ring

and after promptly removing the paraphernalia .  

Kind of swollen. But certainly not immobilized.

I guess they have to do what they have to do.

Take away from this story.  

I now know how children feel when they are taken to any kind of doctor 

for whatever reason.  I could not go into the office alone.  

I did not understand what the different people were telling me. 

Or why they were doing what they were doing.  

I had no authority/ability to speak for myself or make any decisions.  

I was completely dependent on what felt like- my parents.

They, in turn, thought the whole thing was hilarious.

I felt humiliated and angry that, 

if I ever want to wear this ring, we must pay more money for the repair.

Maybe we can add that to the insurance claim?!

On our way out, 

Dr. Swenson, always the good example missionary,

 slipped the Doctor a Pass-Along-Card

She smiled and said thank you.

And I have to say thanks to Dr. Swensen.  

His efforts did make the whole thing easier and  

helped to keep things in perspective by not over-reacting to anything.

Good friends can do this.

-This is a good photo of him and his wife Gloria-

Not quite a week later - it is laughable.

(but still annoying)

I agreed to have these photos taken because after all,

I am a blogger now~

-and a good sport-

The post title is a quote from our friend Greg Clark,

Craig's partner here.